So we are nearing the date of Hubby's surgery. I will admit that I am more than worried. Hubby said to me this morning that he was scared. I said I was to and I didn't want him to leave me.
I am trying to be as positive as I can, but it's human nature to also have those doubts creep in and settle in ones mind. I mean every time we do something I think "Could this be the last time we do this?". "Is this our last Sunday drive?". "Is this his last Fathers day?". "Is this the last time we kiss on this beach?"...
I know I should try to stay positive, but sometimes the bad thoughts overcome me and I feel overwhelmed. And more than a little scared.
It's like we are both trying to make an effort to do as much as we can. We haven't said so out loud, but it's what we are doing.
It's a scary feeling. Thinking that the one you love could be taken from you too soon. I know that one day, eventually, I will loose him to this disease, but I don't want it to be from complications arising from surgery.
It's just too soon.