Nov 30, 2010

Just call me Snow White..

We have a family of Superb Fairy Wrens living in the bush in our front yard. I am so in love with these beautiful little things. The family seems to have expanded over the spring time and now there are dozens of these tiny adorable little creatures flitting from tree to bush, twittering and trilling away all day. The females are brown with an attractive red slash across their eyes. The male (there is only one) has a black and blue head and a vibrant electric blue body. He is a very handsome boy.
They are extremely playful and inquisitive. I can stand at the window and whistle at them and they hop over through the branches of the tree to look at me. Even when we walk through the garden they don’t seem to be too afraid of us and come out to have a look at who is passing by their home.
It was perhaps this lack of a sense of danger that got one little female in trouble one day.
I was sitting at my computer when my cat Moby passed by the door, making a funny noise. I immediately sensed that he was up to something and raced out the door, to find that he had a bird in his mouth. I yelled at him and he took off into the garage and hid under the car.  I crouched down and, Moby, sensing he was in big trouble, didn’t put up a fight when I dragged him out. Holding him by the scruff of his neck so as not to hurt him or the bird I said through gritted teeth “LET GO!” and amazingly he did. He literally spat the bird out. I scooped it up in my hands, the cat now forgotten. I thought, surely it was dead, it was so tiny, it would have easily been crushed. But while I was thinking this the bird suddenly wriggled in my fingers. “HUNNY!” I yelled taking it into the house. We popped it into an old sock to keep it warm and while I held onto the little bundle Hubby got a bird cage ready we just happened to have. Then we put the bird, still in the sock, inside the cage, and rang the bird rescue place to find out what to do. The lady told us not to feed it or give it water, because of the shock. If it survived the night then it would be ok to let it go. We covered the cage with a towel and I could hear her peeping quietly under it. We left the cage downstairs to give her some peace and quiet and time to recover.
The next morning with some trepidation I lifted up the towel and there she was, flitting around the cage and looking very sprightly indeed! She had lost her tail feathers but didn’t look like she had any other damage done to her. So I took her outside and positioned the cage near the bush were the Wrens lived. I opened the door and she flew straight out, greeted with much twitterings and excitement from the others.  I felt so good.
I went around the other side of the bush and wheeled our bin back inside our yard (It had been bin night) and when I passed the Wrens bush they all suddenly came out and sat on the outer branches and twittered at me. I felt like Snow White. Snow White in a big bright pink fluffy dressing gown.

Nov 28, 2010

What Makes a Great Person?

shower cat Pictures, Images and Photos
What would you attempt to do if you knew you could not fail?

A lot of people have a different opinion on what makes a person Great. My husband and I have differing points for example.
Take Jessica Watson. The young teenage girl who sailed solo around the world and has just recently received a “Young Australian of the Year” award.  My hubby says that there are far more deserving young Aussies who should have received this award. He said that there are hundreds of people out there, who, every day devote their time, a lot of it voluntary, to help out the disadvantaged, disabled and the many charity organizations out there with no thought of reward, or recognition. He says all Jessica did really was sail a boat and get loads of media exposure for it.
While I agree with him that there are many unsung heroes out there, I believe that what makes a person great to be a much easier role to fill. I believe that ANYONE, who inspires ANYONE else to do something that they only ever dreamed of, is a great person.  Who knows who was watching Jessica achieve her dreams and then went out and did something great themselves because they believed that they could do it if she could? We all had that one teacher at school who we really connected with and who we remember later on as the one who inspired us to write, or paint etc…  Even a stranger passing us on the street who offers someone a random act of kindness will inspire us to do the same to someone else.
No matter how big or small these acts of greatness are, if they inspired just one person to make a difference in their lives, then I say that person is truly great.

Nov 27, 2010


Depressed.  Confused.  Hormonal.
I'm all teary and girly and stupid at the moment. Stupid hormones.
Chucked a major hissy-fit before just cooking dinner. My poor hubby copped the brunt of it, and it was over the most stupid thing (how to cook the potatoes). I don't know how many more days of this I can take!
This sucks :(
It's amazing how many pregnancy symptoms there are that are similar to other things. I wish there was one all-telling symptom that made you go.. "AHA! Yep, I'm definitely pregnant!"
This Two Week Wait (yes there is a name for this hell) is the most frustrating time ever. You're in limbo. Torn between moments of absolute peacefullness, and then doubt and depression, and throw in a few irrational tantrums as well.
You're counting down the days, but they are going too slow.
Every little unusual tweak your body gives makes your heart race and your imagination starts running wild.
I'm over my hissy-fit. Think I'll go have a nice shower with my natural rose soap.

Nov 25, 2010

Am I Up the Duff or was it the Cheese?

Well one thing for sure, I hate waiting. Two weeks is SUCH A LONG TIME!!!!
I had a look at a site before, listing early signs in pregnancy, and I pretty much had ALL of them. But then I don't know if it's because I'm up the duff, or if it's my usual PMS. If it IS PMS then the timing is wrong, it's too late. I am due for a period on the 2nd, and I get PMS smack bang in the middle of my cycle.Then again, it could be the cheese I had for lunch.
This is what I have at the moment:
My stomach is bloated to the max (and sore)
My nipples are sore
I felt sick this morning
I almost vomited at the smell of the mushrooms hubby was cooking last night
Im in a cleaning frenzy

Day five-six:
size 0.1 - 0.2mm
Apparently the embryo secretes this enzyme stuff that erodes the lining of the uterus, making it ready for the embryo to implant. This also keeps the production of progesterone up (hence the swollen tummy), which in turn maintains the blood rich lining of the uterus.

7 - 12 days
size 0.1 - 0.2mm
Cells surrounding the embryo continue to engulf and destroy cells of the uterine lining creating blood pools and stimulating new capillaries to grow - beginning the growth of the placenta.Meanwhile the cells inside are still splitting and growing.


Nov 24, 2010

Beauty is all Around - A poem

Morning Dew Pictures, Images and Photos

Beauty is all around

When life is not being kind
I escape inside my mind
And rejoice in what my thought brings
The beauty in the smallest things
Sleeping kittens, tiny and new
Golden sunlit morning dew
Flowers glistening after rain
A gentle flickering candle flame

A dragonfly on gossamer wings
Pond ripples in perfect rings
Sparkling silver moonlit trails
Left by common garden snails

Then I think of beauty more grand
Like southern beaches with pale sand
Reflections on water from city lights
Clear and crisp star filled nights

A rainbow stretched across the sky
Black thunderclouds rolling by
A gentle flowing forest stream
White capped mountains with peaks extreme

So when you are full of sadness and doubt
Open your eyes and look about
And you will see what I have found
There is beauty all around.


©copyright SWestlake 2007

Nov 23, 2010

Yes I'm talking about my Embryo. Again.

Embryo - day four

This is the picture the IVF clinic made of my little embryo. Isn’t she pretty? Lol…
We got to the clinic today and spoke to one of the scientists. She told us that the embryo has kept on developing overnight and now has 9 cells! It had 8 when it was defrosted. So she/he has continued growing.  That is promising.
The implant went well. Now the embryo will float around in there for a couple of days, and then my body somehow detects that it’s there and will start the process of attaching it to the uterus wall. Hopefully. That’s the plan anyway. I have to wait to take the pregnancy blood test until the 7th of December. My period is due before that, so if I do (please no) get them then I will know sooner that it didn’t work.
Also, we FINALLY got our car back. Actually working. With air-con! It’s been two weeks and one day. I am so glad we have it back, it was really starting to stress us out (and I REALLY don’t need the stress right now) because we were starting to think that maybe we would have to get a new car and we are so broke right now. It’s a big weight off our shoulders.
You know how I said I Barry White-ed a pumpkin? Well…now we have EIGHT! We’re going to be up to our ears in pumpkins! And the vine is still growing like mad, and making its way round the whole back yard. Taking over everything. (Like Trifids) I tell you, if I ever lose my son I’ll know the first place to look.

Nov 22, 2010

Go you little Embryo!

Just a quick note. The IVF clinic rang today to say that the little embryo has thawed out "beautifully". I'm so proud of it! lol..
Anyway, implant is at 12:30pm. Wish me/us luck!

Nov 20, 2010

Butterfly - A poem


She struggles weakly, one last time
She is dying
Her pretty blue wings now broken
Under the spiders silken shroud

How fleeting and momentary her life was
Did anyone notice her passing?
Did she make you smile when,
On light breeze, she did fit by?

Do you stop to look
At the little things around you?
How fleeting and momentary are our lives
In this endless cycle

Will someone notice when you are gone?
How many will remember you and smile?
We are not insignificant beings
Each one of us counts

Each one of us has something to give to another

Whether it be for just a passing moment
Or until we, in turn, enter the spiders shroud

©SWestlake 2008

Nov 19, 2010

Implant date is SET!

Today was the last of my blood tests! The implant is on Tuesday!
I'm kind of excited, and scared to. While the implant procedure is a piece of cake, I don't want to get my hopes up, and yet I want to stay as positive as I can. This little embryo is our last go. Probably ever, unless we come across a stray $11,000. Yeah. Right.
It's been such a long drawn out, emotionally and physically draining process. I really don't know how some women go back three, four, five etc times. Not only am I wondering how on earth they can afford it. But how can they go through all the whole ordeal every time and not become seriously depressed. I don't know how you could keep pushing so far that your marriage falls apart and you are left alone and with nothing to show for it at the end. I don't understand how a woman could be that wanting. (I can't use the word desperate, it sounds too harsh). Because I know the feeling of wanting this badly, but not at the risk of my relationship with my husband.
Sure, if it isn't successful, I'll be devastated, and I will grieve. But I'm not going to loose the family Ive already got because of it.
My family is the most important thing to me, and that's what I'll hold on to.

Nov 18, 2010

Pollywog in a Bog

One of my favourite bands Barenaked Ladies made a childrens' CD called "Snacktime". This is my favourite song from it. I just love it. Enjoy!

Meanwhile.. I have had blood tests every day since Monday. I am starting to feel like a pin cushion, and probably look like a junkie with the bruises on my arms. I rang the IVF clinic today and they said my FL (no idea what fl is) levels are peaking but not enough yet for implantation, so I have to continue with the blood tests.
So every morning I dutifully make my way down the street to the pathology lab. Then walk all the way back home again. It's getting rather annoying not having a car.
We caught the bus to the movies today and saw Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows - Part One. We loved it. I actually forgot about some of the things that happened in the book, so was surprised when they happened in the movie. You know when sometimes you have already read the book and the movie just doesn't excite you as much?
Anyway, that's it for me. My bloated tummy is full of Fizzers(long, chewy, flavoured fizzy candy, excellent movie food), and pork ribs and tea, and I really need to now go somewhere and curl up in a little ball and regret it all.. lol.

Nov 17, 2010

How I Met Your Father...

Yeah I borrowed the title from one of my favourite shows, and tweeked it just a tad.

Photo taken by me :)
Listening to “The Wedding Singer” soundtrack (I am an 80’s freak) , I thought of how much I loved the movie, and then I realized why. I can totally relate the plot of the movie to my own life.  No I don’t mean tragic hair (although back in the eighties I probably did).
When Robbie and Julia first met they were involved with other people. Julia, with a complete schmuck who didn’t appreciate her,  and Robbie to long-time girlfriend who left him at the altar. When my hubby and I first met we were going out with different people to. We were both on the same online dating site and found each other through our interest of writing. So we exchanged a few friendly emails. Meanwhile his relationship with the female schmuck who didn’t appreciate him ended, and mine with the creep who told me I was “Bigger” than what he was used to going out with, quickly ended as well, when I told him to not let the door hit him in the ass on the way out.  (Meanwhile he complained that these stick thin bimbos he goes out with either had too much baggage or no personality. I told him if he was ever going to find someone he needed to look beyond physical appearance and get to know a girl)
So our emails turned into phone conversations that lasted well into the night, and we decided a date would be the logical next step. The date was on the night before Mothers day, and we had arranged to meet at Sizzlers. Which, if I had given it any forethought, would have realized it would be packed out. So we got beer and pizza and headed back to my place to watch a movie. Yeah I know, stranger danger and all that, but I KNEW him. Like I’ve said before I can read people and I knew he was a good guy. Believe me I was careful. I was a single Mum. I didn't want any creeps in my home. The date went well, and no he didn’t stay the night. I had to work early the next day.  (He has since told me that all the way home that night he thought I didn’t like him and kicked him out cause I just wanted to get rid of him).
Long story short and we quickly fell in love and were married not long after, like Julia and Robbie. When you meet that person. The one who you can see living out the rest of your life with. Doing all those boring day to day things with. The one person you want to hold you when you are upset. The first person who comes to mind when you have something to tell. The one you wake up with and spoon in the mornings. The person you pour your heart out to.
When you meet THAT person, why wait I say.

Nov 15, 2010

Love beyond Control - A Poem

Love beyond control.

What is this burning inside of me?
Is it the stain you’ve left on my soul?
The inner turmoil of love beyond control,
that grows deeper with every minute,
every second you are close to me?

How can I stand to feel this way?
This writhing, twisted agony
will send me beyond all that I know
All that I have ever cared for before,
has vanished from my blinded eyes

How can I stand to feel this way?
I can’t.
But it feels so damned good.
I can’t stop it.
I don’t want to.


 ©Copyright SWestlake 2009

Nov 14, 2010

Creepy Cats and Pimping Pumpkins

I love cats. But the cat next door is starting to freak me out! Every time I see it, it stares at me! And I don’t mean the normal cat stare they do long enough to make you feel like an idiot and then they eventually look away. I mean this cat STARES. Yesterday I was out in my garden and happened to look up to the neighbors’ second story window. There was the cat, sitting on the window sill. Staring.  It didn’t move a muscle. It was as still as a statue, and just kept up its creepy wide-eyed staring.  It was like a scene from one of Stephen Kings’ horror movies.
Eventually I was so creeped out I walked back inside and all the way to the door the cat just stared. And stared. Not moving an inch. It was like a fricken Mona Lisa, I could feel its eyes on me everywhere.  If I hadn’t seen it walking around the yard before I could have mistaken it for a stuffed one. I’m telling you this cat is freaky!
So we have this sort of rambling veggie garden in our back yard, and we have managed to nurture a pumpkin vine through the winter into a now thriving giant man-eating-day of the Trifids-like beast.  I swear I can SEE this thing growing while I watch it! I'm not letting any children or small animals near it. Anyway we had no pumpkins growing despite the abundance of flowers. We found out that there are in fact, male flowers and female ones. (like Trifids) Also, because we have no bees, the girls weren’t being pollinated. (been there girls) So I googled it and found out how to pollinate them myself. I can now proudly say I am the Barry White of Pumpkins. I have to get down there early in the morning (who doesn’t like it in the morning eh?), pick a male, strip him of his petals and, well you know the rest. Hubby laughs at me and asks if I would like some mood music. I have had a few failures, but then not everyone is going to get along are they? I have successfully pimped out one boy flower and we now have a pumpkin growing! It’s so exciting. The little bugger grows so quick to, it almost doubles in size each day.
We are still without a car, and probably won’t be getting it back for at least two more days. We are all getting cabin fever.  
Tomorrow I start the daily blood tests to see when it will be the best time to implant the last embryo. It’s all down to timing now. And luck and any other good vibes/mojo  out there I can take.

Nov 12, 2010

Stylish Blogger Award *insert shy giggle here*

Well thanks to my wonderful fellow blogger, Caren at Cat Chat I received a Stylish Blogger Award. I don't know whether I am all that stylish but it's very much appreciated since I haven't been on Blogger for very long.
Rules of posting the reward are now for me to reveal seven things about myself so here goes... no laughing.

1. I am very creative and love to draw, paint and even do a bit of photography.
2. I am petrified of... FEATHERS!! Bleh! (one time we were passed on the highway by a chicken truck and had to follow it for the next few kilometres with feathers flying out the back of it *shudder* Hubby thought it was hilarious)
3. I am losing my sight in my left eye and the doctors don't know why. I have only about 40% vision left in it.
4. Going blind is one of my biggest fears. Apart from feathers that is.
5. I have this ability to be able to read a persons character straight away. So I know right off if someone is up to no good.
6. When I eat I have to have my food ratio right. Like the same amount of chips, and vegetables as my meat. Yeah I know, weird.
7. My favourite chocolates are Ferraro Raffaello's even though they arnt chocolate.

Now I'm supposed to name 15 of my favourite blogs to send the award on to, but since I'm only new on here I think I'll give it a miss. This time. Because those on my blog list I think all rock, so if you want to repost this award then it will be up to you. Do the picture thiny, thank and link it back to me, and do your 7 things about me bit. Believe me when I say I love your blogs (which I read every one of them) and love it when you visit mine.

Nov 11, 2010

GGGRRR! Rant time.

First of all, today is Remembrance Day and I would like to say "THANK YOU" to all our brave men and women who serve, at home and overseas. YOU are appreciated.

We arnt rich by any means. But I am so sick of buying piece of shit cars! I know we can't afford to just go and buy something half way decent let alone something new, but seriously, I am starting to get pissed of with cars. The latest one we have is a Nissan N16. Which hubby insisted was easy to fix if it broke down and parts are easy to get. We paid $2500 for it in a privet sale. So far we have spent a fortune on it trying to fix a noise, that no mechanic we take it to seems to know what it is. We've had put in new timing chains (which admittedly needed to be done), had the gear box checked, new cam shafts, and a whole stack of stuff and still the car is making a racket. So finally one mechanic tells us the engine is going to need a complete reco. We decide that buying a new second-hand engine is a better way to go. We find Jap imports that only have about 60,000ks on them (some law in Japan about not having cars on the road that have done more than 62,000ks). Sweet. We also get a new gearbox and air conditioner compressor from the same car. Alright.
Tuesday: we drop the car off in the afternoon so the mechanic can start. He rings to tell us the gearbox is not an automatic, which we need, but a manual one. So hubby rings supplier to rant. They are VERY sorry and say the right one will be sent first thing in the morning. Not straight away. In. The. Morning.
Wednesday: Hubby rings after lunch. Gearbox has not arrived! Hubby rings supplier. Again. They NEVER said first thing, they said first RUN (Yeah right), and the driver ran out of fuel and someone has to go get him, but gearbox will arrive soon. Another day down the drain.
Thursday:  Afternoon : Mechanic rings to tell us that new gearbox is a piece of shit and they don't want to put it into our car. Hubby rings supplier. Again. "Oh but I checked this one personally"  the owner says. Hubby is livid but trying to remain calm cause he wants a resolution and doesn't want to piss this guy off, even though he is a dumbass. Me, I want to grab the phone and scream at him, see how he likes a hormonal female yelling at him.  Many phone conversations back and forth with mechanic, and auto gearbox place next to mechanic. All decide that no, this guy needs to send new gearbox out or totally refund our money. Guy says, "Wait up, I've got another one hear, I'll send it right over"  But one problem, gearbox has no converter,  so we have to take the one off our ORIGINAL gearbox and use it (even though the auto gearbox man didn't recommend it). Hubby makes the supplier refund his money, and pay for converter to be reco'd. (Which leaves us without a car over the weekend and most probably the next week as well) Hubby tells mechanic not to let truck driver go until he checks out this THIRD gearbox.
Meanwhile, I am so mad you can see steam shooting out of my ears, and Hubby is so stressed he feels sick (not good for his heart condition) and I want to strangle everyone who made my poor darlin' all stressed out.
Stupid, stupid incompetent dumbasses!
 We now have to catch a train into the city tomorrow and walk to the hospital for my IVF scan. The only good thing about tomorrow is that we are going to our favourite Japanese Restaurant "Bishamon" for lunch. They make the BEST food and only cost $20 to feed all three of us.

Nov 10, 2010

White Crow

So I have been writing short stories and poems for years now, and while I will probably put a few on here for you to read, I won’t be blogging my stories. For one, I like to write in the Vampire/fantasy genre, and even though I started writing them before all the vampire hype, there are WAY too many vampire books out there now. While I like my stories, I couldn’t bare someone to see my work and groan “not another vampire book!”  We are all human.
So my poetry on the other hand I don’t mind scrutiny, comments, whatever. Most of them I wrote inspired by something happening in my life at the time, and others are just random bits that came to me in the middle of the night, on the train, etc.
So which one to start off with? It’s a hard decision, as I am terribly critical about my stuff, even though people who have read it said it’s good. Anyway it doesn’t really matter.  I’ll pick one of my favorites to begin with. As you can see I wrote it a few years back. 

White Crow

The White Crow sits on the throne of his queen
He sees for her what cannot be seen
Their bond is one of unfathomable depth
Which can only be broken with either ones death

A cursed cloth of black on her eyes she is bound
So he speaks in her mind in a way profound
He will tell her the difference between truth and lies
And as his Queen sleeps the White Crow flies

White Crow flies and surveys his Queens lands
From the mountain tops to the golden sands
From the land in the south through the sleet and snow
To the land in the north where the summer blooms grow

He will fly through the day until the night fall
And through his eyes his Queen can see all
He has no wish for his life to end
He would fly on forever for his beautiful friend

But time as they say, it does go on
White crow and his beloved are now long gone
Though to this day when wind lashes the skies
You will faintly hear the White Crows cries


 ©Copyright SWestlake 2007

Nov 7, 2010

MY meaning of life

I don’t often find myself sitting and thinking about the meaning of my life. I am quite content to just plod along with the day to day. Sure I have plans for the immediate future, like our motor home trip around Australia, and our IVF.  But I don’t really have any “Life goals”. There isn’t anything I absolutely have to do before I die. I don’t have a bucket list. Am I weird?
My husband, on the other hand, does. I can see where he is coming from with it as well. The other day we were talking to one of his heart doctors and he threw a rather alarming fact in our faces. My husband has only a 50% chance of still being alive in ten years time.
Faced with a definite expiry date like that, I can see how it must totally change your perspective on things.  While I am scared about it myself, I can only begin to imagine what is going through his head right now.  I avoid thinking about death at the best of times, and I defiantly don’t like to have to think about in the near future.
He’s faced with three choices.
Give up and lose his lust for life,
Ignore it and live life day to day like he was, or
Live like there is no tomorrow.
The first choice, I believe, most people would go through at least for a little while, after receiving such news.  I mean, you’re only human if you go through the “Why me?” stage, along with the denial, and anger.  Admitting defeat is the scary part.  
Ignoring it and living life as you were seems like a good choice. With the support of your loved ones I don’t see why you wouldn’t.  I wouldn’t want my family to go through the pain of seeing me give up on life, if I had other options. But I’m not the one going through this. I guess it’s up the individual person how they react to the situation. What strength of character they have, to allow them to carry on with gusto.
Live like there is no tomorrow, dance like no one is watching, sing like no-one is listening, work like you don’t need the money.  All good things to live by.  Once in a while. If you lived like that all the time, would you always feel like you were missing something?  Would you come to the end of your life and regret not having the chance of ticking something off your bucket list? I don’t mean that we should never go through life without goals, or dreams, because everyone has got to have something to hope for. I’m just thinking that we shouldn’t forget what we have right in front of us right at this moment and not be disappointed that we missed out on something that was in our own minds to be much better.

Nov 6, 2010

CROCHET - Not just for Grannies

Allow me to indulge for a moment. I taught myself to crochet just a few months ago and these are some of the creations I've done to date. Most of these will be sold at the market hopefully.

Teatowel toppers, with matching buttons

Six petal flower

Simple wound Chain Rosette

Four colour Baby Throw

Complicated five petal flower in crochet cotton

Soft blue scart in triple crochet
I'm currently working on another baby throw, this one in boy colours, slightly different pattern to the girl throw. I love to crochet, it's so very relaxing (when I can eventually make out the complicated instructions on the patterns). Naturally, I tackle each challenge with gutso. Naturally my hubby has seen it as a great way to make

Nov 4, 2010

IVF - The Emotional Roller Coaster

Tomorrow we go to see our IVF doctor to start the process of implanting our last embryo.
I'm not excited. I should be I guess. I know I should be all positive and all, but I just don't want to get my hopes up. Because this is our last go. Ever. And I don't want to come to that point when I have to accept that I will never have another baby.  I know that it will be painful at first and it will gradually recede to a quiet little corner that I will revisit from time to time. I know that the chance of not having another child was more likely to happen. And I fully knew before I fell in love with my husband that it would be a hard process if not impossible when we did decide to try to get pregnant.
I don't know how to describe it. Being a Mum is what I know I was put on this earth for, and I love being a mum to my son. I always thought though, that when I met someone I would have more kids. I don't blame my husband. He can't help what happened in his childhood, and I'm sure if he could do it over again (without the leukemia, chemo and drugs) he would do it in a heartbeat. I knew all this when we first met. But you can't help who you fall in love with, and I wouldn't change that at all.
I guess people would say be happy with what you have. Well I am. But is it too much to ask for just this one more thing? I'm a good person. My hubby and I are great parents. Why should all the deadbeat parents have children that they abuse or ignore, and send to bed hungry, and to school with no shoes. Then I get all mad at myself for thinking these things. For being all negative, because I've got to be positive right? I've got to will this to happen. What if the last one didn't work because I wasn't in the right frame of mind? Do I sound like I'm rambling and confused? Yes I do, but these are some of the thoughts that go through your head when you are going through this emotional roller coaster of IVF.
I guess I'm just being a hormonal female at the moment. I hate feeling this way. Hopefully I'll come away from the appointment tomorrow feeling more positive.

Nov 1, 2010

R.I.P Alien

The awesome bike

For those who read my previous blog you will know that I was in

a dilemma about the piƱata we were making for our son’s tenth

birthday party. Well do not fear! The giantsperm/alien, finally got

 Well and truly.
After attaching some creepy arms and me giving it a wicked paint
 job, it thankfully looked more like the alien it was supposed to be.
The kids had a great time bashing it with child-friendly-padded
-sticks, and when all the goodies had fallen out of it, my brother-
in-law stepped in to put the poor thing out of its misery with two
very efficient hits. (He’s a second dam karate- RAAF soldier and
could kill you with one finger. But he is a big teddy bear really,
unless you pissed him off)
The rest of the day was good, the children were actually not feral
at all, and behaved well. The parents weren’t sure we would last
 the entire three hours we’d allotted for the party but it all worked
 out fine.
A sperm no longer, now a scary alien dude

The final end of my pinata R.I.P Alien dude.