Today was the last of my blood tests! The implant is on Tuesday!
I'm kind of excited, and scared to. While the implant procedure is a piece of cake, I don't want to get my hopes up, and yet I want to stay as positive as I can. This little embryo is our last go. Probably ever, unless we come across a stray $11,000. Yeah. Right.
It's been such a long drawn out, emotionally and physically draining process. I really don't know how some women go back three, four, five etc times. Not only am I wondering how on earth they can afford it. But how can they go through all the whole ordeal every time and not become seriously depressed. I don't know how you could keep pushing so far that your marriage falls apart and you are left alone and with nothing to show for it at the end. I don't understand how a woman could be that wanting. (I can't use the word desperate, it sounds too harsh). Because I know the feeling of wanting this badly, but not at the risk of my relationship with my husband.
Sure, if it isn't successful, I'll be devastated, and I will grieve. But I'm not going to loose the family Ive already got because of it.
My family is the most important thing to me, and that's what I'll hold on to.
Blessings! I wish the best for your family and I cannot even begin to know the emotional rollercoaster of what you are going through. You already have the answer, you know what is important...so, hold on to what you have and take a deep breath. I hope that the universe is still and takes a deep breath with you, allowing those magic seconds to be a miracle and that God blesses you with your dream. Good luck!
ReplyDeleteBest of luck!! Wish you the best!!
ReplyDelete"Hope is the dream of a soul awake." French Proverb
ReplyDeleteHoping for you.
@ Jules.. Thankyou, you are lovely :)
ReplyDelete@ Caren Thankyou so much.
@dbs that's a beautiful proverb, thankyou.