I am struggling with the concept that my one and only son is growing up.
Recently we celebrated his 12th birthday and while I acknowledge that yes, he is becoming a teenager, he is still my little boy. Having gone through all the heartbreak of failed IVF treatments, I guess I am being a little clingy to the only child I will ever have given life to. You can understand that..can't you?
He has been bugging us lately, asking if he can go for a walk on his own down to the beach. The beach which is probably a three minute walk away, but to a mothers eyes, miles and miles. I am not paranoid in thinking that anything could happen while he was down there without one of us to watch over him. Now don't get me wrong, I'm not one of those mothers that wraps their child in cotton wool and never lets them do anything. He does have a lot of freedom. It's just that the beach opens up of whole new protective feeling in me that I do not really know what to do with. Should I let him go and stand on the balcony fretting until I see him walking back up the street? Or secretly follow him down there and keep out of sight ninja style? Or do I just refuse his requests? All kinds of thoughts enter my head when I think of him down there, alone. There are nasty people out there who would see my son as a easy target.
I think about the parents of Daniel Newcomb, a boy who disappeared in this area and was never heard of again until recently when his murderer was caught and showed police where he buried the boy. He was nothing but a pile of bones by then. He was 14, my son is only 12. And even though he knows karate, he is kinda puny. I'm his mother, I'm allowed to say that..lol.
Apart from my fear of him being taken, he does have Aspergers, no road sense at all, I mean...a dog has more road sense than him. And he walks around completely oblivious of his surroundings at times. I know he is getting older and frustrated at what he sees as me being over protective, but I just don't think he is ready. My Husband thinks he is. Maybe I am being a wee over protective, but in this day and age, sadly, I think I am justified.
So when is it the right time to let go?