Dec 21, 2010

Bah Humbug!


This is the time of year that kind of hits a raw nerve with me. This year I am sad about the loss of our ivf/embryo/baby. I am missing my parents. My husband’s health is not good. I start thinking about how pissed off at my sisters I am. And now Christmas day itself has turned into one big drama. Courtesy of my husband’s sister.
Here’s the thing..
Every year we have gone to their place for Christmas because they didn’t want to come to our place.  I get that the first year was because my brother-in-law had just come home from his tour of duty in Iraq and wanted to do his Christmas thing, which includes roasting every sort of meat known to man. I get that. Then the year after it was that our house was too small (Even though their house was way smaller). This year there was no excuse, it was a flat out “NO, we are doing it at OUR place”. And given that we don’t have much money we agreed reluctantly, on the condition that hubby would make his fabulous chicken roll, and I would make the deserts. We discussed this on one or two occasions. Tonight we ring them and his sister says, no you can’t bring a chicken roll, I’m roasting a chicken. AND she is also making a Pavlova. Which I said I would make. She ended up yelling at my hubby down the phone and pulled her “Everyone is against me” routine, stressing my hubby out and making him not feel well (easy to do with a dying heart).
So basically they have made us out to be the pov people who aren’t bringing anything, and once again they can throw in our faces how much more money they earn than us. I know this sounds like awful bitching but I am pissed off! Mainly because they have forgotten the fact that my husband doesn’t have that many Christmas’s left in him and all he wants to do is entertain. That’s his bliss. And also because I am sick of having to do everything THEIR way. No really, it happens all the time and I am getting more than annoyed about it.
So I hit the roof. I let them know I was mad, which is something I normally don’t do. I told them flat out that we are doing Christmas at our house next year, and if they don’t come then tuff!
Am I being a bitch or are they being unreasonable and selfish? I know Christmas is supposed to be the time of good cheer and stuff, and that my whining may come off as trivial, but it’s turning out to be the one day I’d rather sleep right through and miss.

10 comments:

  1. No, you aren't being a bitch at all :( I hope I'm not being presumptuous or anything but being your husbands sister, she is being horribly insensitive and self-absorbed. Christmas is not about that. I'm terribly sorry to hear about your baby and husband's health. I really hope things get better for you. I can understand completely :(

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  2. @ Ruth HI! And thankyou for understanding me! I agree totally. I mean the desert thing is trivial, I don't really care that much. It's the fact that my hubby was really dissapointed that got me mad.
    We have had a rough year, but hopefully things will get better next year :)

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  3. YOU ARE NOT BEING A BITCH!!!! OMG can I EVER relate!!!
    My sister-in-law is BEYOND controlling...and a HUGE martyr. Yours sounds similar.
    I have been putting up with a similar situation for YEARS now.
    She would rather "order in" for some events (I know, disgusting) than have me make something (I am a really, really good cook, not just me saying it but others do too) and I think she doesn't want someone "stealing her thunder" Your sister-in-law sounds similar.
    My sister-in-law is BEYOND being a control freak!
    I could go on and on and maybe one day in a private email I will but I don't want to bore all of the people who read your blog.
    I admire you for saying right off the bat that NEXT YEAR YOU will be hosting and if she doesn't like it, let her stay home!!!!
    I soooo appreciate your honest emotions about not being thrilled for the holiday season, you have every right to your feelings....the media makes us feel guilty if we aren't feeling all warm and fuzzy!!
    ((((((hugs))))) and you goooooooooooo girlfriend!! Love ya!

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  4. @Caren ((((HUGS)))) right back at you! Now I feel silly for feeling guilty about being pissed off! Thankyou so much for understanding and I am sorry that you find yourself in a similar situation as well.
    Hubby and I are both good cooks, so it's not like we'd bring anything inedible! LOL!
    She is just like my little sister actually.
    Either the whole world is against her, or it's not her fault its everybody elses. Also she is always right and everybody else is wrong. She wont back down on anything, even if she IS wrong!
    What makes it worse is that she is a CARDIAC NURSE! So she knows all about my husband's condition!
    Don't get me wrong, I like her but sometimes I want to throttle her!

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  5. I know this is hard but don't let this get to you. You know better than us all how unfair and short life can be so just take a deep breath and enjoy your Christmas despite family control-freak type drama.

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  6. @dbs I know, and I know we will be the ones to back down yet again. I was just mad for my hubby's sake. Thankyou :)

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  7. No one knows how to push buttons better than family. As a cardiac nurse she should know better. You've been through hell and the lack of sensitivity is...well, I'm outraged on your behalf. If cooking is something he enjoys, I cannot believe that she would not welcome it. I do hope that it works out and that you have a wonderful Christmas after all. Wish you and your family (incl. Moby of course) a great holiday and a Happy New Year.
    Just a thought, what if you were to bring what you like anyway?

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  8. @ A&G We are! lol! Hubby txt them and said he is making his chicken roll, I am making my home made fruit mince pies and we are also making lactose free custard AND icecream! For her son who is lactose intolerant (I am too but not as bad)
    We are yet to hear back from them.
    I hope you and your family have a wonderful Christmas and New years as well! Thankyou for your comments on my page :)

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  9. GOOD ON YOU, MATE ;)Please let us know how enjoyable your culinary masterpieces were.
    Thank you for the holiday wishes, I'll pass them on:).

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