Jan 25, 2011

My bitch fight with sixteen year old me.


I’ve noticed a few people here in Blogosphere doing some posts about what they would say to their sixteen year old selves if they had the chance. I had a think about what I would say to myself, and I don’t think it would end all that well. Nope, no heartfelt hugging and teary goodbyes.
This is how it would go:
Scene:
16 year old me is sitting on the floor of bedroom, taping songs off RAGE. Suddenly there is a blinding light accompanied with blaring trumpets . Then ,
*POOF!* a puff of smoke clears revealing me standing in the middle.
16 year old me: “What the F**K!”
2011 me : grinning “TADAH!”
16 year old me: looking for something to defend herself with “Who the f**k are you?” (Apparently I had a potty mouth)
2011 me: “It’s me dumbass. Or rather It’s you. I’m you.”
16 yo me: “ME?”
2011 me: *rolls eyes* “Yes I am you in 30 years time. I’ve come to…”
16 yo me: interrupting “YOU? You’re me? Seriously?”
2011 me: “yes”
16 yo me: “Oh. My. God.”
2011 me: “I know, amazing isn’t it?”
16 yo me: “You mean that is what I’m going to look like when I’m 36?”
2011 me: “Err….”
16 yo me: “wow! I REALLY let myself go didn’t I?”
2011 me: “Now wait just a minute..”
16 yo me: “What the hell happened? What are you wearing?”
2011 me: looks down at outfit I chose especially “What’s wrong with this?”
16 yo me: “Well I don’t know when you decided THOSE types of jeans looked good on that fat as….”
2011 me:  “OK! We are getting off the subject now. I have appeared to you today to give you some much needed advice.”
16 yo me: “Why?”
2011 me: “Because it’s what you do when you are 30ish. You think about the things you want to say to your 16 year old self and if the opportunity arises you do it”
16 yo me: “oh”
2011 me: “what?”
16 yo me: “mmm.. nothing”
2011 me: “AH! Don’t say Nothing to me, I am you , you know, I know you don’t mean nothing when you say nothing”
16 yo me: “HUH?”
2011 me: “I need to sit down…..”
16 yo me: “ Are you going to pass out or something, cause if you are then you better just lie down on the floor. Don’t want you falling on something and crushing it.”
2011 me: “HEY! I am not that fat!, and besides I go to the gym almost every time I remember”
16yo me: sarcastically “I can tell it’s doing wonders for you..”
2011 me: “Ok. That’s it beetch! It’s ON!”
2011 me lurches for 16 yo me.
16 yo me: “MUUUM!”
2011 me: “ SHIT! You won this time but I’ll be back, just you wait”
16 yo me: “look forward to it!” and turns back to the radio, turning it up louder.
2011 me: stands there for a bit, then “whatever!” and is gone in small indignant *poof*

14 comments:

  1. I find it impressive that 36 year old you was willing to type '2011 me' and '16 yo me' that many times for that conversation. You really were an ungrateful little 16 year old weren't you. :)

    To be totally honest, I don't think 16 year old me was much better... oh well.

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  2. Your younger is self was ballsy or maybe that was all bravado?

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  3. @Paul, dbs and Sherilin, to be honest it's really hard to write what you would have said as your 16 year old self. It was all just for fun :)
    In reality we probably would have sat on the bed and talked for hours.

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  4. ahahaha, I should do one of these ... one day - I was only 16 three years ago (I can't really remember what I was like either, is that bad? haha)

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  5. Ya should've slapped her before 'poof-ing off (excuse the expression).

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  6. @Ruth.. LOL! You're just a young chickie, you can't be forgetting something that was three years ago.. :D

    @Symdaddy I should of.

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  7. Naaah. You would have been happy to see you, especially when there's time travel involved.

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  8. @A&G We would have drunk coffee all night and talked.. LOL!

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  9. I remember now...I was in year ten/eleven reading Macbeth and we thought we were the most hilarious beings in the world (drawing pictures of Phil Collins and gorillas on drums). We still think we're hilarious really....

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  10. You are not! I'm turning the big Two Oh this year!

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  11. @Ruth... oh! That's supposed to make me feel better is it? Hahaha! :)

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  12. Yeah...I suck at that sorry, haha

    But seriously, not old haha

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